Tuesday, September 06, 2005

My God WWE sucks right now-- Thoughts on Raw, Shawn Michaels, Tammy Sytch, Freda Wright Sorce

Well, its been awhile since I last updated the site because I have been busy with work. Frankly, the product has been so bad lately that I haven't felt compelled to write anything at all. But last night's Raw was so horribly awful that I had to give my two cents.

The one positive thing about this week was that Shawn Michaels didn't take any cheap shots at Hulk Hogan. Ever since he did the job at Summerslam, HBK has taken ever opportunity to attempt to bury the biggest legend in the history of the industry. Face it Shawn, you are the last one to comment about someone's use of backstage politics. Have another drink, Mr. Higgenbottom, and don't forget that it was Hogan who has TWICE brought wrestling to new heights (in the mid 80's and in the late 90's) and because of his drawing power, you were able to put food on your table. You fucking pussy ass Michael Bolton look alike, its not like you had to job to Rob Conway. You are a cancer to the business, with your childish antics of comedicly overselling Hogan's offense at Summerslam and bitching about losing the next two weeks on Raw. You have never been the number one guy while business is good. You have carried the torch during wrestling's darkest times. Bottom line, you alcoholic piece of trash, is that you have never come close to equaling Hogan's contribution to the business. You are right about one thing, you are the Showstopper. I stop watching the show every time you are on it.

Well, now that that is out of the way, lets look at last night's Raw.

WWE provided another huge letdown this week in revealing that it was Carlito who attacked Ric Flair last week. They missed a huge opportunity here, as this was an angle that could have played out for a couple of more weeks, with the payoff being at Unforgiven or later. Possible attackers could have been HHH, Michaels, Hogan, Hart, just to name a few. Hell, I would have even been more excited to find out it was David Flair than to find out it was Carlito. Way to drop the ball.

I have read alot of critism of Ashley's match with Torrie on the internet. Boy, was she awful. But what can you really expect from someone so green? I think there should be more critism of Murdoch. Talk about going through the motions. He looked completely devoid of any sort of emotion in the ring. How does a male WWE-level talent fuck up an irish whip?

Other than that, everything else was just plain boring. Who cares about Rob Conway? Viscera and Val Venis as a tag team might work on SNH, but keep that crap off of Monday night. Big Show vs. Snitsky has the potential to be match of the year in bizarro world. WWE is sinking to "Invasion-era" lows in writing the Hardy-Edge angle. How can you screw up that badly? I actually spent last night flipping channels during Raw, something that I had been able to avoid over the last couple of months. I hope that WWE just treated this as a throw-away show since it was a holiday, but I have the sneaking suspicion that the creative team is just so bad that this is the quality we can expect for the long haul. I also have a sneaking suspicion that Jonathan Coachman is the one stealing my pastrami sandwich out of the break room. Luckily for wrestling fans, relief is in sight. TNA! TNA! TNA!

In closing, I just want to say that Ken Kennedy is the most awesome character we have seen in a while, Tammy Sytch is still fat and hooked on Bret Hart's wang, and I'm thankful that the Don and Mike show is back to normal.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Freda Wright Sorce, Tammy Sytch

All of the hits we get on this site come from people looking for naked pictures of Tammy Sytch ("Sunny") or info about Don Gerronimo's wife.

Poll of the Day

Will this weblog go the way of good ol' WCW. Will there ever be a recap again. Will Smackdown Letdown? What will Coach do with his pastrami sandwich? Stay tuned to find out!!!

Friday, July 22, 2005

DDP in "The Devil's Rejects"

As a huge fan of "House of 1000 Corpses", I had been eagerly awaiting the sequel for about a year and a half. (The constant adds on WWE programing didnt help my patience much either.) Now since this is a wreslting blog I will spare everyone my marked out review of the movie and just say that DDP was great as a white trash bounty hunter. In my opinion the should have used him more. But I will just say good job to Mr. Paige for a great performance.
Bedingfield

Great American Bash PPV --- Bye Bye Hassan, JBL-The Tista, Bra and Panties, More

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I am actually going to order a Smackdown ppv on Sunday. Now you may be asking yourself "Why the craziness?" Well, there are a few things that definitely intrigue me about the card, with the most intriguing by far being the Hassan/Undertaker match. WWE has caved to pressure from UPN to not have the character on the show anymore, and the word on the internet is that rather than trade Hassan to Raw, the creative team has decided to have the Undertaker KILL OFF MUHAMMAD HASSAN at the GAB. Now this, my friends, is must see tv.

I am also looking forward to the BWO vs. Mexicools. I don't know why, but I think the BWO is cool. Maybe its because I watched The Rise and Fall of ECW for the first time last night.

Also, I am moderately looking forward to the bra and panties match and the tag team title match.

And...I can't believe I'm actually typing this right now...but I am looking forward to the JBL vs The Tista match. I have been such a vocal opponent of JBL in the past. I hated JBL. Howerever, I am completely indifferent to Buttista. I find Buttista so utterly boring that I have actually started liking JBL. I would much rather have the strap on someone I hate than someone that I am completely indifferent to. I know The Tister was scheduled to win the match and then face Hassan at Summerslam, but with the imminent death of Hassan on Sunday, I am interested in seeing what booking changes will be made. And remember, as Bedingfield pointed out in the Smackdown Letdown, the one who gets over on the "go-home" show before a PPV usually loses the match. So maybe JBL has a chance.

I am not, however, looking forward to Eddie vs. Rey MXCLLIIV. I know alot of "smarks" love this feud, but I don't. Listen, I like Rey Misterio fine, and I don't have a problem with Guerrero. What I do have a problem with is a lazy "creative" writing team that cannot come up with fresh ideas for either character. I hate re-runs, even if a child molestation/infidelity/bastard-child "secret" is involved.

I will have complete results posted Sunday evening for the 2 or 3 people who read this site.

Smackdown Letdown

This ought to be interesting.
Here we go...

seg. 1 Rey vs. Super Crazy
grade B
comment: I am a sucker for a good lucha libre match. Many drunk nights. Would have given this match an A if it had any other ending then the obvious Eddie run-in.

seg. 2 Teddie/Eddie, Christian, Animal/Heidenrich
grade B+
comment: Good promo segment all around. Love the "Seacrest Out" ending and Heidenrich's poem.

seg. 3 Animal/Heidenrich vs. Jobbers
grade C+
comment: Nice to see no-name jobbers get squashed. Takes me back.

seg. 4 Eddie vs. Benoit
grade C
comment: "And Triple H..err..Randy Orton..err Eddie your surprise opponent will be...CHRIS BENOIT." Havent seen that 30 times in the last year.

seg. 5 Diva promo
grade C
comment: As much as I hate segments like this I cannot totally trash a segment with bra and panties and JBL being compared to MLK.

seg. 6 Booger T vs. Simon Dean
grade D+
comment: During this match I took a smoke break for the 5th time, 5th time, 5th time, 5th time, 5th time. But I did like reliving JBL chasing Mexicans. Hilarious.

seg. 7 JBL "Victory Speech"
grade D
comment: I have a theory that has been proven correct 8 times out of 10. Whoever gets over on the last TV show always loses the championship matches at PPV.
But Batista didnt beat up JBL so I dont know if it applies here.

Overall Grade C-
Final Comment: Obviously they had to add exrtra promos due to the whole Hassan thing which made for a poorly timed show. I hope WWE stand their ground on this character and at least put him back on Raw. It would be a shame to let it go.

Bedingfield

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Raw Recrap...I mean "RAW Recap"

God damn it, who is writing this crap. Last week, I predicted a that the WWE was on the verge of rebounding from the last 5 years of crap we've been subjected to. Last night proved me wrong. After 3 solid shows (even though the 4th of July show sucked, it was important because of the Michael's heel turn, so I'll say it was solid), we get this crapfest.
RECAP:
1)Bischoff comes out to address John Cena's actions from last week. Says Cena will have a non-title lumberjack match against Shitking. I hate when they have the champion in a non-title match and I hate Shitsakey. But I like lumberjacks in a non-sexual way.

2)IC Title Match - Shelton Benjamin def. Carlito (C) by disqualification.
It is announced that the title will change hands on a count out. Immediately I know that Carlito will get himself disqualified. Why does Benjamin keep trying top-rope moves when he can't execute them. He looked really bad. Then Carlito hits him in the nuts and gets disqualified. When in the hell did they start disqualifying for that? I demand that every match Ric Flair has ever won be reversed. I also demand a pastrami sandwich, but keep that pesky Jonathan Coachman away, sneaky bastard.

3)Angle Invitational- Kurt Angle def. Matt Martel by submission (Ankle lock)
I actually didn't mind this, except for the fact that a low-blow will disqualify you but a two minute chokehold won't. What kind of logic is that? Also, I hope this isn't leading to a Martel/Angle match at Summerslam. Please get something better for Angle to do.

4)Diva Search
Holy God, this is the worst thing ever. Last year, the "trash talking" competition was decent, but this year the comments were all pre-taped. And damn these chicks are stupid. Loud "Boring" chant throughout the segment. Who likes this? Who are they marketing this to? WWE has a history of discontinuing angles with no explanation, and I don't think anyone would mind if they did it here. God this sucked. Sucked sucked sucked.

5)Kerwin White/Bischoff/Jericho
I thought this was horrible. Kerwin White is a funny idea gone horribly wrong. "If its not white, its not right"? It was fine for him to say that, but not fine for Bischoff to laugh. This gimmick is making white people look bad. So lets see: white people are bad, Arab people are bad, Mexicans are bad...so that explains why Special K is the WWE champ! Figured it out.
Whats worse is that Jericho asks Bischoff to approve a battle of the bands for next week. I hate when they do live music performances on Raw. Remember Nitro? Kiss, Megadeth, West Texas Rednecks? It didn't work.

6)Shawn Michaels interviewed by Todd Grisham
When Michaels was shown talking on a cell phone, I thought it was forshadowing for somebody's return. HHH? Nash? Hall? Mideon? Turns out it was nothing.

7)Chris Masters def. Rosey in a Masterlock Challenge squash
Can the WWE bury the tag team division any lower? Yes, apparently they can. WEEEELLLLLL ITS THE BIG SLOW. And nobody cares. Atleast they are putting Masters in a feud with someone. I hate how they use Big Show. He could be a monster main eventer if they built him up right.

8)Edge interviewed by Todd Grisham and goes off on internet fans.

9)Hulk Hogan responds to Michaels' challenge
I didn't like how Hogan didn't get a ring introduction. The fans were nuts for him. Long ovation. Michaels comes out and cuts a very bad, boring promo. I don't think Michaels likes playing the heel in this feud because he has been holding back on his promos. He is trying to play the "cool heel", ala Kevin Nash or DX. For this feud to really be effective, he needs to start putting down the fans and be a true heel (think Hogan's heel-turn promo at Bash at the Beach '96). Michaels is a selfish, self-serving prima donna who is only interested in furthering his own agenda. Apparently Hogan is the same way, but he's Hogan, and I mark for him, so I don't care.

10)Edge def. Kane in a steel cage match
I didn't like how they used Matt Hardy here. I don't know how I would've have done it better, but it just didn't work for me. Then we get treated to a 20 minute yawn fest of Kane vs. Edge XXIV.

11)John Cena def. Shitpee in a lumberjack match.
Cena wins when all the faces come out to attack the heel lumberjacks.

I Liked:
1)Hogan's promo

I was indifferent to:
1)Bischoff's opening promo
2)IC Title match
3)Angle invitational
4)Lumberjack match
5)Masterlock challenge
6)Edge putting-down internet fans

I Hated:
1)Diva Search
2)Kerwin White
3)The idea of Cena/Jericho "battle of the bands"
4)Matt Hardy's ambush
5)Kane/Edge XXLIII
6)Michael's promo

Monday, July 18, 2005

WWE Raw Preview---Steel Cage, Matt Hardy, Hulk Hogan, John Cena, ECW, Matt Stryker, Divas

PWInsider.com has reported the following for tonight's Raw:

Edge vs. Kane in a steel cage match. How will Matt Hardy do a run-in in a steel cage match?

Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten are backstage.

Matt Stryker/Striker/Martel is also backstage.

Tonights Diva Search segment is entitled "Trash Talkin'"



Also, WWE.com's official Raw preview says that tonight Hulk Hogan will answer Shawn Michaels' Summerslam challenge and Bischoff will react to Stone Cold John Cena's actions last week. Sounds like must see tv. And that's not meant to be sarcastic.
Link

Friday, July 15, 2005

Smackdown Letdown

I'll keep this short and sweet.
Away we go....

seg. 1
Eddie and his wife.
grade C-
comment: This storyline is really getting old. Just tell that you are the father allready.

seg. 2
Eddie cont./Mexicool vs. London, Scotty, Funaki
grade A
comment: I like Mexicool a lot. Sick double dropkick. Poor London, he is not meant to take flipping moves. His face must be broken.

seg. 3
Various Promos
grade C
comment: Tori is great to look at but horrible on the mic

seg. 4
Heidenrich/MNM/Animal
grade B
comment: I dig Heidenrich and marked for Animal. Cant believe they joked about Hawk.

seg. 5.
Eddie vs. Holly
grade C
comment: I went and smoked a cigarette thourgh the first half of this match and am sure I missed nothing.

seg. 6
Hassan Statement/Taker
grade C
comment: Obvious smash

seg. 7
Booger T vs. Capital Charisma
Grade B
comment: Could we have a match made for the GAB??? DUH!!

seg. 8
The Tista vs. OJ
Grade B-
comment: I was much more interested in the Boogeyman promo.

Overall Grade C-
comment: Last week was soooo much better

Side note: Go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Great,fun,stoney movie.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Hassan's Promo from WWE.com

More information about the angle I used to hate but now I'm starting to like:

The mainstream media has been ripping WWE and UPN for the terrorist angle last week. WWE, following the old adage "any publicity is good publicity" has posted a video on its website of Hassan defending his actions. PWinsider.com has posted a complete transcript of the promo. Click the link to view it.

Link